Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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