i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
