I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
