FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize