they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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