Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
