I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
