She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
