you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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