Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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