I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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