We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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