im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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