he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
