he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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