nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
