right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
