oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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