Me. At least after what I've been through.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
