if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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