Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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