Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
