I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Drake has all the answers
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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