was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
