I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
