I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
