So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
