I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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