its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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