he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
