that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize