Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
A+ Viking dick
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
