apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
