Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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