how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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