meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
