saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
