if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
