He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
