ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
