he fucked my hip out of place.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize