32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
