found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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