Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
