WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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