So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
