Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
