do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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