All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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