Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
