Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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