He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
