5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
