There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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