ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
