fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
