Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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