do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
