yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Randomize
