We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize